Monday, May 31, 2010

It Is An Honour

I love being in Nature.  I love being outdoors.  This morning I love my walk to Gunnamatta Bay - I love being in the natural park, so natural, I love all the Trees.  I just love the Trees.  I enjoy being a Witness to the Trees, spending time to look at the different Trees to appreciate their beauty.  I have a sense of "Bring People Here", I have a definite sense of bringing people here for Coaching.  I often get this feeling when I am at Gunnamatta Park, that this place is a perfect place to help people get back in touch with Nature, to get back in touch with themselves - where I am excited to bring people here for Meditation, the opportunity to be in Connection with the Trees, enjoy Medicine Walks, definitely enjoy Coaching just sitting on a picnic rug in Nature. 

I love watching the Birds, hearing them singing, watching them flying.  This morning I enjoy the sight of two Galahs, I love the colours of the Galahs - they are sitting on the top branch of a tall Tree - I wonder what they are saying too each other as other Birds leave the Tree and it is just the two of them - "great, finally some alone together" - I have a laugh - my Yin loves to be in my Imagination.

I ask for some Gifts of Nature to take home with me (and to take to work), just flowers or leaves that have fallen on the ground.  I am Gifted with three beautiful bottlebrush and then find two lovely coloured leaves that catch my eye on the way back.

As always, when walking this way, I smell the red rose at the corner house, it is beautiful and fragrant and I wave and give a thumbs up to the owner of the house who smiles at me from a kitchen window.  We have often enjoyed Conversations and I always tell him how much I love his garden and love smelling the roses.


When I get home I enjoy a Meditation.  I love Meditation.  At first I experience a busyness and then I drop into a stillness.  I have a sense of so much pressure on my neck and shoulders, so much pressure I am being pushed down.  I have a sense that I need not put too much pressure on myself in terms of what I "should' be doing or where I "should" be in terms of my Business.  I have a visual of me just taking small steps every day and that this will have a ripple effect.  I feel that I just need to Trust.


In my Mediation I feel myself in a bubble where I can protect myself from getting too emotionally involved or oversensitive by someone's negativity or drama, or by someone's sadness.  I can still have an open heart and send love and light.

About one or two seconds after my Mediation, my phone rings.  It is a private number and I think it is my Mum - and so it is a surprise when it is a lady and she tells me she found my Flyer in her letterbox and she asks me about Coaching.  I tell the lady about Coaching and we organise an appointment for this Friday.

I am so Excited, my first Client since launching my Business.  I feel Excited and I have such a strong feeling and knowing that It Is An Honour to be a Coach.  It Is An Honour for people to share their stories, their feelings, their fears, their hopes.  I am Honoured that this lady rang me today, she doesn't know me and yet she made a Coaching Appointment.  I admire her Courage to take the first step.

I have emailed my Client my Client Form - an opportunity for a Client to take some time and reflect on these questions which will help maximise the results of the Coaching Process.  While my Yang Business part of me was writing the email, I had an Intuitive pull to offer the Client Form as an Invitation, and suggest that if the Client uses the Form as an opportunity for Reflection, that she can choose to email me back or bring on Friday, whatever is most comfortable and convenient for her. 

Tonight I also email my Client some information about Coaching.  I feel that this offers some more information to help prepare the Client.  I am happy with what I have prepared and offered - I am really happy with my notes on Transformational Life Coaching, Client Benefits, Transformational Coaching Process and  SHINE Coaching - About Me.  I feel that by offering more information to the Client upfront, this will help her feel more comfortable and it means that we can spend more time, more space on her Agenda.  I would like to share some of the information that I emailed the Client on my Blog - as an opportunity to know more about me and my Coaching work.

Transformational Life Coaching 
•    Helps Clients move forward in a positive direction (Coaching is about now and the future, while Counselling is more about now and the past)
•    Transformational Life Coaching is a Client-Centred Approach with a genuine belief that people are Creative, Resourceful and Whole
•    Offers the opportunity for people to make the changes they want to see in their lives - to consciously design and achieve personal, relationship, health or career goals – they may be external goals (to change jobs, start a new business, lose weight, to live a healthier lifestyle, to be in a loving relationship) or inner goals (more confidence, greater self-esteem, greater happiness, more joy and fulfilment in life, a new way of being in the world, a new way of being in relationships)
•    Works at a far deeper level, accessing the inner values, needs and longings of the whole person - with more focus on the person, rather than solely focused on the goal
•    Helps people who may be feeling stuck or lost or uncertain of the next steps to help them move forward
•    Helps people grow and strengthen their inner resources and life tools to support them when going through times of change, including tough and challenging times. 

Client Benefits 
S - Self-Awareness, Self-Confidence, Self-Reliance, Self-Care, Success of Goals and Celebration of Wins 
H - Happiness and Joy and a Sense of Gratitude
I - Inspiration - Feeling Energised and a sense of Purpose and Meaning
N - New Awareness and a Feeling of Newness, Hope and Excitement, A New Beginning, A New day
E - Empowered - Sense of working with what is within one’s own control and using one’s power to make positive choices. 

Transformational Coaching Process
S - Based on the Client’s Specific Agenda and Goals – with an opportunity for Self-Reflection and a focus on a Client’s Strengths and Resources 
H - Holistic Coaching is about bringing about Balance and Authenticity in all Areas of Life, as well as attention to Physical, Mental, Emotional and Spiritual Aspects
I - Intuition - Coaching is not about giving advice or direction, the Process involves assisting a Client to access their own answers and Insights
N - Next Steps – Each Session offers the opportunity to identify and commit to action steps for forward movement, with a space for people to be accountable to themselves
E - Experiential – The Coaching Process allows space for sharing, and there are invitations for different exercises, questions, meditations and visualisations to assist a Client. 

SHINE Coaching – ABOUT ME
· SHINE: Excitement, brightness, glowing, brilliance, excellence, eyes lighting up, a feeling of basking in sunlight, reflecting light to others
- As a Coach it is a Honour to work with people – As a Coach I see the light in people, their uniqueness, their greatness - so that they may SHINE
- I have been working with people for the last 5 years in Training, Motivation and Performance Management and now with training in Counselling and Coaching, I have recently started my own Coaching Business where I am very passionate about working with people in the local community
- The Coaching Process involves shining a light on areas in life that are both working and not working, shining a light on the Vision for the future and bringing obstacles into the light to help bring about change
- My belief is that each day is a new day, that we are not defined or restricted by our past, but that with the rising of the sun there is the opportunity to begin again or take new steps towards our desired destination
- My heartfelt wish is that the Process of Coaching can help more people LOVE SELF and LOVE LIFE.


It Is An Honour to be a Coach.  And it is also important to Honour my Man and make time for us.  He is so lovely, he has been so busy with housework in the last few days so that I could focus on my Coaching.  And he bought me beautiful Yellow tulips on Sunday which brighten our Home, brighten my day. 

 
Now time for my Man...

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Yin-Yang Now and Future

I feel love.  I feel loved.  Lying in bed this morning I put on my Meditation music and allow images to float into my mind's eye.  I have a sense of my Yin and my Yang walking together hand in hand - these two parts of me loving and supporting each other, loving and supporting me.


I wonder what is different about me now - now that I am Consciously being a Witness to my Yin and Yang.  I definitely have an Awareness of an internal dialogue, relationship, Union, love between my Yin Feminine and Yang Masculine parts of me.  Their coming together has made me feel whole, complete within, I am more Confident and I have a greater sense of Value of myself.

I feel that my Yin and Yang are now equal partners in a loving relationship.  This has been an incredible and worthwhile and life changing Journey and opportunity.  When I started this Journey they were just children, playing together, getting to know each other - similar to the friendship in "My Girl" and definitely making me remember back to when I was just a child with my child bestfriend.


In this childhood phase, this is when I first felt the Creative Tension between my Yin and Yang - where there was time to play with this new way of being - feeling into my Intuition and then my Yang following the lead of my Yin.


And then I had a feeling of my Yin and Yang in a teenage relationship, where my Yin had a crush on her Yang (especially as my Yin was really starting to like her Yang) - and then they enjoyed a first kiss, their first love - they were highschool sweethearts - like in the movie "Sixteen Candles".  I also looked back on a photo of me when I was a teenager and I remember when I was going out to a school disco, all dressed up, hoping to meet a boy (I have always been a Romantic and in search of love).


During this teenager phase in my process of getting to know my Yin and Yang, I felt that it was just a teenage crush and my Yin and Yang were still just getting to know each other.  And then came my Commitment to true love, with me having a desire to strengthen this relationship of Yin and Yang.

I feel my Yin and Yang in partnership now - noone is in charge, they work together.   My Yang does sit patiently and wait for his Beloved Yin, and he still lets her know he is there, eager for ACTION.  As my Preference is Yin, I have in the past abandoned my Yang - and yet now, I am so fortunate to discover my Yang Strengths, Abilities, Capabilities and Capacities. 

When I was sitting at the Doctor's Clinic waiting for my Appointment yesterday to present my Coaching Business, I did not feel nervous, or alone - I felt like I was being supported from my Yin and Yang.  Even as I write this paragraph, this is HUGE for me, as even though I have enjoyed time on my own and I enjoy my  own company, there have often been times when I have felt alone and that I needed someone to be beside me, keep me company, support me, to sit with me at home on the lounge or be beside me if I was going to an appointment.  Now I have found myself. 

I have loved listening to so many love songs over the last 7 weeks and revisiting them in the last couple of days.  Shania Twain's song "From This Moment On" was my wedding song, the song I danced with my ex-husband - now I feel such Self-Love when I hear these words - like I am singing these words to myself.

I also love the words and this clip of "I Won't Leave You Lonely" - I love the images on the clip, Shania Twain is so beautiful and a Goddess - and when I listen to the music I once again feel myself singing these words to myself -

I am so fortunate to be loved unconditionally by my Man and my Family and I love to be showered in love and hugs by my Nieces, and yet now I have such a sense of Self-Love, that no matter what happens in my life, I have myself.  I have a sense of inner Strengths and Resources within my Yin and Yang parts of me that can support and help me as lifeskills - and I have a sense of my Yin loving her Yang man and my Yang totally there for my Yin (with encouraging love and self-talk), my Yang singing me this song -

I just love this clip from "Shall We Dance" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bibtqDxXv1o - it gives me a real visual and sense of the power of Yin and Yang coming together.

I look back over the last decade in my life to get a sense of what was happening for me - this is interesting:
- 2000 - Unhappy, lost, stressed, lonely - cover up and try to hold it together with a mask - then I find joy in running - and I search for a partner
- 2002 - Get married, marry a nice man, the wrong man - thinking that I will be happy
- 2003 - Lonely, lose my sense of self, I don't recognise the signs and I have a sense that I have no options and I fall into a deep, dark, depression, I do not value myself or my life
- 2005 - Start a new job, find confidence, feel fulfilled - my job in Training and Motivation of Teams brings out the best in me - both my Yin and Yang were working well together
- 2005-2009 - A series of unhealthy relationships - always in search of true love 
- 2008 - With a change in the Company I move to a new Company - I thought I was happy - and yet the best part of the job was that it allowed flexibility for my Study
- 2009 - Meet my Man - experience unconditional love
- February 2010 - I am made redundant from my Job - the Universe clearly has other plans for me - in looking back my job was very Yang and I would often go into my Shadows of Overthinker, Stressed, Loner, Seeker of Positive Reinforcement - it did not bring out my best
- March 2010 - After being made redundant I loved being in my Yin, abandoned my business corporate part of me - just loved being with Nature, in my Imagination, drawing, creating, freedom, space for spontaneity
- APRIL-MAY 2010 - I REDISCOVER MY YIN AND YANG - I DISCOVER MYSELF - I EXPERIENCE SELF-LOVE - May it be the start of a long and forever Journey of Unconditional Self-Love.

So now I have this new Awareness and this strong Union of my Yin and Yang - Where to now?

I refer back to my College notes on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.  I feel that in understanding my Yin and Yang and my way forward - this is an important part of the puzzle, explaining "what energises, directs and sustains human behaviour." http://www.edpsycinteractive.org/topics/regsys/maslow.html


In terms of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs http://www.businessballs.com/maslow.htm "Each of us is motivated by needs. Our most basic needs are inborn, having evolved over tens of thousands of years. Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs helps to explain how these needs motivate us all.  Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs states that we must satisfy each need in turn, starting with the first, which deals with the most obvious needs for survival itself.  Only when the lower order needs of physical and emotional well-being are satisfied are we concerned with the higher order needs of influence and personal development. Conversely, if the things that satisfy our lower order needs are swept away, we are no longer concerned about the maintenance of our higher order needs."

I feel that my Needs on 6 of these Levels are being met, and yet it is interesting that when I have had a sense of a possible deficiency, this caused me to act or react, with my fear and Shadow parts of myself coming on stage.  Last week when I was confused about no longer continuing with the booking of a permanent space, I had some fears around finances and I was also feeling a sense of separation - and I went into Overthinker, Overwhelm and Loner Shadows.  And yet by then being intouch with my Yin, I was able to get my Yang to act for me - the events of the week gave me the opportunity to be honest and true and make some adjustments to make this work for me.  I also now have a sense of Connection and Belonging at the Bookstore - and I am Excited that I was able to bring my Creativity of my Yin and Focus of my Yang to put together an advertisement that will be placed in the Bookstore's Newsletter.  And I am also Excited by the opportunity to work with Clients at my friend's Physiotherapy.  I am also happy that through the Creative process and being in touch with my Yin, I was able to realise that it is not about the rooms - of most importance is the Connection and Power in the Coaching Relationship and that I can bring my light to any space.

I am pleased that some fears and Shadow parts of me did surface - as it allowed me the opportunity for Self-Development, learning from a potential mistake.  Of most importance for me is continuing to be an Observer to myself.  I have a Commitment to build the Strengths and love of my Yin and Yang and to practice these positive new habits of these parts working together rather than discarding each other.  I am happy that my Blog helps me to Reflect daily on my Wins, my Challenges and my opportunities for Growth - and even allows an Honesty and Authenticity where I can be a Witness to my fears and notice my Shadows  when they come to the surface.  I also realise the importance of not always rushing in and making Decisions - I am bringing in a Check In, a question to ask myself before I make a Final Decision - "Are you sure?  Take  the time to Check In" - and really taking the time to Check In with both Yin and Yang and making sure that my Decision is not based on fear or the acting out of the Shadow parts of me. 

I am happy that I have recently put my Values on a piece of Art paper that I have placed on the wall for me to see when I wake up in the morning.  These help me in setting my Intentions and getting my Yin and Yang to work together to help me live a life based on my Values.  I am finding that my Yin and Yang are working together with my Health Goals, where I am cooking more healthy and vegetarian meals which has been a Goal for a long time.  I am also getting my Yang to help me be more Ordered at home, and less cluttered.  I am also currently getting Yin and Yang together to help me with my Goal of starting Yoga which I have been talking about for 1 year.  My Yang has been collecting timetables and researching classes and my Yin felt into the Studio that feels right and when being in the flow, I was able to meet a Yoga Teacher and ask her about my back.  I have now found a class that will suit me - and I have made a Commitment, a Promise to myself that I will go to the class this week.


One of the questions being asked by my Teacher in relation to the Yin-Yang Project is "How are you affecting your 'mastery of being' and self-actualization within this creative process?"  I decide to look at where I am at with all of the eight levels of the Hierarchy of Needs, where I am at - and I find a great Self Test 
- Biological Needs - "Aside from dieting and personal choice, I never starve through lack of food, nor lack of money to buy food.  Aside from the usual trauma of moving house, I have no worry about having somewhere to live - I have a room over my head'." YES

- Safety Needs - "I generally feel safe and secure - job, home, etc - and protected from harm.  My life generally has routine and structure - long periods of uncontrollable chaos are rare or non-existent." - YES - this is true for me - and this is why I made the choice of getting a part-time job so that from a place of security, and without stress or desperation I could build my Coaching Business

- Belongingness and Love Needs - "I am part of, and loved by, my family.  I have good relationships with my friends and colleagues - they accept me for who I am." - YES - this is true for me

- Esteem Needs - "I am successful in life and/ or work, and I'm recognised by my peers for being so.  I'm satisfied with the responsibility and role that I have in my life and/ or work, my status and reputation, and my level of self-esteem." - DEFINITELY YES - experiencing the falling of love of my Yin and Yang has allowed me to experience high self-esteem and Self-Love

- Cognitive Needs - "Improving my self-awareness is one of my top priorities.  The pursuit of knowledge and meaning of things, other than is necessary for my work, is extremely important to me." - YES - this has always been important to me

- Aesthetic Needs - "Above mostly everything else, I actively seek beauty, form and balance in things around me.  My interest in beautiful culture and the arts is central to me" - Hmm - Yes - although I am not very materialistic, I definitely love the beauty in the world, the beauty in Nature and I do love art and colour

And now for the top two areas that are explained as:
- Self-Actualisation Needs - "My aim is self-knowledge and enlightenment.  The most important thing to me is realising my ultimate personal potential.  I seek and welcome 'peak' experiences."
- Transcendence Needs - "The most important thing to me is helping others to reach their ultimate potential, whatever that may be, even at my expense."

I definitely have a sense of experiencing and being driven by these two Needs and I am definitely Inspired to develop further so as to fulfil these Needs - to continue to Consciously work with my Yin and Yang and the Creative Tension between them.  I am Excited that I find a great link - a Self Test  about Self-Actualisation - this one involves Scaling, which I really like, it helps me see where I am at, and create a Vision for where I would like to be - http://www.selfcounseling.com/help/personalsuccess/selfactualization.html

Here is the Test and my responses (I choose a rating based on how I am feeling today, being so in touch with my Yin-Yang Journey) -
"Listed below are a series of 16 characteristics of a self-actualising individual as described by Abraham Maslow. Self-actualising here is defined as a person who is in the process of fulfilling their potential. After slowly and thoroughly reading each characteristic, rate yourself on the scale listed below that characteristic from 1 to 10. Your results will give you both a linear and intuitive representation of your strength and weaknesses in moving towards being a self-actualising person. Spend some time focusing on why you are stronger in some characteristics than others. What is it that has given you a higher score? What might you do to make your score higher on any given characteristic. The highest total you can receive is 160 points. How close are you?"
"1. The self-actualised person has more efficient perception of reality and more comfortable relations with it. They can accept the good and the bad, the highs and the lows, and he can tell the difference.
      1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10     (6)

2. Acceptance of self, others, and nature. The self-actualising person sees reality as it is and accepts responsibility for it. They are as objective as a subjective being can be in their perceptions.
      1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10     (7)

3. The self-actualising person has spontaneity, simplicity and naturalness. In other words, this kind of person is not hung up on being as others think he should be. They are a person who is capable of doing what feels good and natural for themself simply because that’s how they feels. They do not try to hurt others, but they have respect for what is good for themself.
      1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10     (7)

4. Problem Centring. The self-actualising person is someone who is generally strongly focused on problems outside of themself. They are concerned with the problems of others and the problems of society, and are willing to work to try to alleviate those difficulties.
      1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10     (7)

5. The quality for detachment, the need for privacy. For all their social mindedness, the self-actualising person has a need to be by themself or a need for solitude. They enjoys times for quiet reflection and don’t always need people around them. They can be with the few people that they would be close to and not need to communicate with them. Their presence is sufficient in and of itself.
      1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10     (8)

6. Autonomy, independence of culture and environment. The self-actualising person is capable of doing things for themself and making decisions on their own. They believe in who and what they are.
      1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10     (7)

7. Continued freshness or appreciation. The self-actualising person experiences a joy in the simple and the natural. Sunsets are always beautiful and they seek them out. They can still enjoy playing the games they played as a child and having fun in some of the same ways they did many years before.
      1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10     (10)

8. The mystic experience, the peak experience. Self-actualising people usually have experiences in which they literally feel they are floating. They feel very much in tune or at one with the world around them, and almost feel as if they are, for a momentary period in time, part of a different reality.
      1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10     (8)

9. A feeling of togetherness. Self-actualising people have a feeling for all of mankind. They are aware and sensitive to the people that are about them.
      1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10     (9)

10. Interpersonal relations. Self-actualising people have deeper and more profound interpersonal relations than other adults. They are capable of fusion, greater love and more perfect identification that other people could consider possible. They generally tend to have relatively few friends, but those relationships are deep and very meaningful.
      1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10     (7)

11. The democratic character structures. Self-actualising people tend to believe in the equal nature of human beings, that every individual has a right to their say, and that each person has his strengths and each person has his weaknesses.
      1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10     (8)

12. Discriminating between means and ends, between good and evil. Self-actualisng people know the difference between means and ends and good and evil and do not twist them in a way that hurt themselves or others.
      1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10     (9)

13. Philosophical and unhostile sense of humor. Self-actualising people tend to enjoy humor. They like to laugh and like to joke, but not at the expense of others. They are generally seen as good natured, even though they are capable of being very serious.
      1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10     (8)

14. Creativeness. Self-actualising people are capable of being highly creative. Creativeness can be expressed in many dimensions by writing, speaking, playing, fantasies, or whatever, but self-actualising does have moods of being creative. Maslow has said that a first-rate cook is better than a second-rate painter. Hence, creativeness can be expresses in many dimensions.
      1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10     (8)

15. Resistance to inculturation, the transcendence of any particular culture. Maslow feels that the individual is above their culture in some way, that they maintain a strong individuality and are not so absorbed that they cannot evaluate the culture objectively in such a way that they can make decisions about what is best for them and those they care about.
      1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10     (8)

16. The imperfections of self-actualising people. Self-actualising people are individuals who are aware of the fact that they are not perfect, that they are as human as the next person, and that there are constantly new things to learn and new ways to grow. The self-actualizing person, although comfortable with themself, never stops striving.
      1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10     (10)

      TOTAL SCORE 127 out of 160.

I feel happy that I am on the right track and that I can Consciously make Choices to become more self-actualised.  Of most important to me is that I continue my Journey of Self Awareness, to live my potential.  I am still learning and I am still on a Journey of Discovery - that's what makes life so wonderful.  It is also of great importance to me that I help others. It is from a place of Strength and Compassion and Authenticity and Self-Love that I believe I can best serve others in my Mission to Spread The Yellow.

My Coaching Business is so new and I feel that there is much to be done and yet I feel confident that with the support and love of my Yin and Yang parts of myself that I can become successful.  My main Vision is to be working with 5-7 Clients every week by September.  Rather than just doing a Marketing Plan, and being all in my Yang and having everything Planned - I am very much relying on the flow - and opening up to my Intuitive Yin and using my Yang to go into ACTION.  My Yin is very appreciative of my Yang's business skills and ability to plan and complete 'to do lists', Yang is my feet on the ground.  While Yang is allowing space for Yin - for magic, mystery, spontaneity.  And my Yin also asks my Yang for ideas - and then feels into the idea - head and heart working together - they are in Conversation and Connection (and I look out for the Shadow of my Overthinker).  As I work 3 days a week, I have just been working on my Coaching Business on a part-time basis and yet as this is my lifework, I have a sense that I need to take ACTION on my Business every day - let my Yin show me the way.  Yesterday I bought a beautiful card - the words speak to me about my Business, about my life - 
"When you come to the edge of all that you know,
you must believe in one of two things:
there will be earth upon which to stand,
or you will be given wings."

When I designed my Business Logo, I had a sense that Yin and Yang would be of supreme importance in my Coaching work.  Yin and Yang is now HUGE for me in Coaching – I see the importance of having them both working together to bring about energy and light - and growth.

 

I remember meeting with the graphic designer to explain my Logo and my Yin and Yang were in their Power - I was speaking from the heart with Passion and also giving details and logic.  I explained that the:
- Yellow heart in the middle is the spark – the light within – it can be Soul purpose, it can be one's Uniqueness and Greatness, it can be one's dream, idea, insight, inspiration – for me it is my dream of bringing my Coaching Business to life
- Red around the heart represents the love between Yin and Yang – the Passion and force of them coming together – the love story between Yin and Yang
- White circle around Yin and Yang being a representation of the Hero's Journey
- White and Yellow glow and rays is the sun – energy, warmth, ENERGY, magic, BRINGING THE DREAM TO LIFE – and seeing it SHINING IN THE WORLD – And Shining because you love what you have brought forth into being.

I am SHINING now after being in Reflection of my Journey in the last 7 weeks.  I am Excited to work with Clients in helping them develop their own Strengths and Resources, helping them become more Self-Reliant and Confident and experience Self-Love.

Myers-Briggs Personality Profile was such a great starting point to find out about my Strengths and Preferences.  I believe it will be worthwhile to invite all of my Clients to complete an online survey as an opportunity to learn about themselves, so that they can bring their own Yin and Yang into Power and help them consciously design and achieve their own Goals.

After speaking with the Doctor yesterday and during my own Reflection, I am realising how Passionate I am about walking with people as they take an Inner Journey - perhaps their Goals are more Confidence, greater Self-Esteem, more Joy and Fulfilment in their lives, a greater sense of Purpose, a new way of being in the world.  I also Welcome all Clients and Trust that an External Goal, such as getting a new job, may also lead us to the underworld of exploring what is going on for a Client, offering the opportunity to explore how the Client can feel a greater sense of peace and happiness.  I love that the Coaching Process can help people develop their own Strengths and Resources, life tools that will always support them on their Journey - especially in helping them live their potential and also during times of change and transformation.

My Yin-Yang Journey has brought me Home to Self where I am in a place of Self-Love.  I now believe that anything is possible and I can make my dreams come true.  And I look forward to working with Clients to help them with their own Self-Exploration and Self-Discovery - helping them see their own Greatness and Uniqueness - a Journey of Love of Self and Love of Life.

I love this quote from 'Soulcraft' - I believe it speaks about the Power of Yin (Vision) and Yang (task):
"A Task without a Vision is just a job.
A Vision without a Task is just a dream.
A Vision with a Task can change the world."

I love that I have my Yin and Yang to help me with my Vision and Task.  I love that I have powerful images of my Yin and Yang that I carry with me and draw on in my mind's eye.


If I feel I am too much in my Goddess Yin, I will call on the image of my Yang male - and if I am too much in Yang, I will invite his Beloved Goddess to share the space.  My Commitment is to have them holding hands, a Union, a Fusion - and that's what I love about the Yin and Yang logo, even in Yin there is still Yang, and in Yang there is still a piece of Yin - they are never totally separated or without each other.  In writing this I get a sense of my Goddess in Power, which I believe has Yin and Yang qualities.



I read this quote yesterday and I really like it - 
"I am where I am because I believe in all possibilities"

This is a whole new world for me - I am Excited by all the possibilities. 



Saturday, May 29, 2010

Memorial Day 2010


Well Done My Yin-Yang

I am very Excited - today I had true Yin-Yang Success - my Yin and Yang working together in harmony.  I had an appointment with a Physician in Cronulla and I was able to meet with him and tell him about my Coaching Business.

First thing this morning I looked at my Art Therapy from Sunday 11 April 2010 (the last day of my College Intensive Course).


In preparation for the Intensive College Course, I completed the Myers Briggs Personality Profile which identified my Strengths and Preferences as ENFP - slightly expressed extravert, distinctively expressed Intuitive, very expressed feeling personality, moderately expressed perceiving personality. I am strong in my Intuition (especially that I now allow space in my life to hear the whisper of my Soul, and voice of Spirit) and I am in touch with my Feelings and Emotions.  Through my Coaching Studies, I learn that being ENFP means that my Yin, my Feminine part of me is strong.   

While my Myers Briggs Personality is Intuitive, rather that the Thinker, I have developed a strong Thinker through 17 years in the Corporate/ Business world - I can be Logical and Analytical. - these are  the qualities that belong to the Yang part of me, my Masculine.  The problem is that the Shadows of Overthinker, Critic and Judge can surface - and then I often abandon the Thinker, in preference of being in touch with my Intuition and Feelings.  

The College Project, which is actually proving to be so beneficial to my life, is about choosing an area that needs development.  In realising that I had abandoned my Yang, the skills I had developed from the Corporate World, I realised that I needed to get to know my Yang again.  I also realised that while I had a strong Thinker (Logical and Analytical), I needed to develop the Sensor part of me, the Organiser, Sequential, Planned part of myself.

I have been a Witness to my Yin and Yang for the last 7 weeks, their childhood friendship of them first getting to know each other, their adolescent first teenage crush (my Yin's first kiss with her Yang) and now bringing their true love into maturity.  My learning style is Visual, which I love, as I love seeing images in my mind's eye - and as I walk into the Doctor's Clinic I draw on images to give me strength.

 
I love my Goddess - she is beautiful and caring and natural and spreads light and energy.  For this appointment I need my Beloved Yang, my Masculine part of me.  I had been imagining an image of Richard Gere in a business suit, and yet this seems not me - too corporate for me.



And so I bring in a new image for my Yang - one that I can draw on, that makes sense for me - my male energy.


As I began this journey I became more in tune with allowing the creative tension between my Yin and Yang - where my Yang would wait patiently, and just be there, just waiting for my Intuitive Yin to know the next move.  I still love this powerful process - and rather than getting into Overthinker, I love that I am in touch with my Intuition and allow her to guide me.  And yet I am also loving the Strength, Confidence, Thinker, Planner, Action of my Yang and I am more Conscious of bringing my Yang onto the stage.  It reminds me of the clip that my Teacher and Mentor shared with us - I love it - "Stand By Me".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7P5jWu9JLo&feature=related

When I Consciously draw on my Yin and Yang, there is an internal dialogue happening - almost like a real conversation between these two parts of me - where I definitely feel my Yang male reminding my Yin female part that he is here and ready to go to work for me - he is saying "what now, where to next".  I feel my Yang man is there for me.  It is a great feeling.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcITElLbSow&feature=related 

I feel my Yin and Yang together, working together as a Team, in partnership.

While I sit in the Doctor's Clinic waiting for my Appointment, I feel happy and at peace.  I am relaxed.  There are 4 patients in front of me and yet I feel happy, content just to sit and wait.  This is important to me.  I sense the image of my Yin-Yang Union - my Goddess in Power.  I love this image - it speaks to me - I am a Goddess on a Mission - THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME.


While still waiting for the Doctor, waiting about an hour, which feels like about 10 minutes, I visit the restroom and when looking at the mirror, I feel the Yang, Masculine Part of me speaking to the Yin, Feminine Part of me - I feel his energy speak to me - "You look beautiful, especially beautiful when you smile".

When I meet with the Doctor, he is welcoming and relaxed and I feel happy to be there, talking about Coaching and how I may be able to help his patients.  Thanks to the help of my Yang and  Yang's Strengths of being Logical and Planned and Ordered, I had prepared a folder with two pages of notes about Transformational Life Coaching, Confidentiality, The Types of Clients  Who May Benefit From Working With a Coach, Client Benefits Transformational Coaching Process and about SHINE Coaching - and so I felt Confident.  The Doctor is very relaxed and I am relaxed and rather than speaking from my notes, and being in Yang, Business, Salesman mode, I just speak from the heart.  I tell him I am Passionate about helping people in the local Community.  I tell him that Coaching offers the opportunity to support people who who may be looking to move forward in a new and positive direction, who may be experiencing stress and  may be at risk of falling into depression - offering support and being preventative.  The Doctor asks me questions about my background and education and in hindsight I am happy that I do not go into my Defensive or Justifier Shadows - instead I am relaxed in my communication and I feel very comfortable.  I am happy that the Doctor is happy to sit and talk with me.  I share with him why I am choosing to work in this line of work.  I feel we have good rapport and that we have enjoyed a Connection.  As I write this Blog, I am happy that I do not go into a Shadow of Overthinker, analysing everything or go into my Self-Doubt Shadow.  I feel my Yin and Yang, all parts of myself, worked well in building another bridge in the local Community.  My Yang, Businessman, has offered up the suggestion to Yin to write a follow up letter - good idea!

In Evaluation of my Yin-Yang Union I feel happy that I can be Consciously drawing on all the Strengths within me - my Feminine and Masculine parts of me.  I love that I now have strong images in my mind's eye and that I can choose to bring these parts of myself on to the stage of my life.  I do love that we all have Choices, that we may have Strengths and Preferences, and love that we have all parts within us, and can develop these parts so that we are Self-Reliant and become more Self-Confident.  I love that there is a whole love story happening within us - so often I have searched for a man to make me feel good or give me Positive Reinforcement and yet I have the capacity to love myself and offer support to myself.  The experience at the Doctor's Appointment will be a good example of my Yin and Yang in Union, working together to bring about love and light and energy for the greater good.  There were none of my Shadows in sight - my Overwhelm, Lonely, Self-Obsessed, Seeker of Positive Reinforcement, Judge, Comparer, Critic, 'Used To Be', 'Ghosts of the Past' or Stressed Out - all these parts were nowhere to be seen.  I felt my Yin and Yang holding hands, supporting each other, relaxed together, head and heart.  Well Done My Yin-Yang.

After the appointment, when I am sitting having a chai latte, I draw a picture of a heart with rays coming from the heart - this is how I feel after the appointment, my heart is open and I felt in Connection with the doctor who also has an open heart.  I find this image on Google images and it speaks to me.


After my Doctor's Appointment I go to the Bookstore (where I have a room booked on Fridays for my Coaching) and I am happy to see the Owner and Manager and I thank the Manager for the idea of making Appointments with Doctors in the local area.  I tell the Manager that the Appointment went really well.  I feel happy being at the Bookstore, I feel a sense of Belonging.  I am also happy when the Manager says that she has a feeling that I am going to do really well - it is genuine and heartfelt.

I look back over my notes that I printed out regarding an ENFP personality type.  I am happy when I read the Jung Career Indicator and it lists the following careers: Psychology, Counsellor, Journalist/ Reporter, Literature/ Writer, Film Producer, Marketing, Public Relationships Specialist.  I also love reading about my Strengths and Preferences, of my ENFP Profile, from different websites (http://www.keirsey.com/handler.aspx?s=keirsey&f=fourtemps&tab=3&c=champion + http://www.personalitypage.com/ENFP.html):
- Can't wait to tell others of their extraordinary experiences (this is true and is true today when I tell the Manager about my positive meeting with the Doctor)
- Take things in primarily via my Intuition and can tell what is going on inside of others
- Warm, full of energy, enthusiastic, live in the world of possibilities, become very passionate and excited about things 
- My enthusiasm gives me the ability to inspire and motivate others
- Love life and see it as a special gift to strive and make the most of it
- Everything I do must be in line with my Values
- Need time alone to centre myself
- Interested in people and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships
- Speak or write in the hope of revealing some truth about human experience or of motivating others with powerful conviction
- Strong drive to speak out on issues.

When I read these Strengths and they resonate with me, it makes me feel happy - a sense of Self-Love.

This afternoon I watch love stories "Serendipity" and "Sleepless In Seattle" - I hired 5 weekly movies for $7 and I love when two people fall in love.  I also watch youtube and enjoy beautiful love songs.  I could listen to love songs all day.  I love this link - Greatest Long Songs - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUittJXChGY&NR=1 I love these words of these love songs, I imagine my Yin and Yang singing these words to me - saying the words to myself - embracing myself in Self-Love and reassurance, beautiful words with so much love:
- "And you're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on"
- "Fly me to the moon, let me play among the stars"
- "Hold my hand"
- "You will always be my endless love"
- "Baby, I'm amazed at the way I really need you"
- "Nothing compares to you"
- "I can't stop loving you"
- "I took the good times, I'll take the bad times, I'll take you just the way you are"
- "How beautiful life is while you're in the world"
- "I want to spend my life with you"
- "In your eyes, the light, the heat, your eyes, I am complete"
- "Have I told you lately that I love you, have I told you there is noone else above you" (WOW)
- "I will always love you" (WOW!!!)
- "I can't help falling in love you"
- "I need your love"

WOW.  I say these words to myself, twice over.  I realise that I do love so many wonderful aspects of myself and that I am amazing, I can recognise and Honour myself, be Grateful for myself - I am in Celebration of myself.  Once upon a time, a long time ago, about 6 years ago, I was deeply depressed, I didn't value myself, I couldn't see a bright, happy future, I thought my life was not worth living.  It was so long ago and the experience taught me so much.  This experience was also the catalyst to want me to help people - this experience led me to my lifework of a Coach.  And now, in this Journey, I am learning to know myself  The greatest gift is that I am moving from Self Acceptance to Self-Love.  I remember when I was married and my ex-husband would say that he "accepted me" - I hated this, this made me sad - I wanted him to tell me he loved me, that I was the love of his life, that I was wonderful and amazing and FANTASTIC!  And over the years I have dwelled in other unhealthy relationships.

And as I write this Blog I realise, up comes this Awareness, an "AHA" moment, that over the years, mainly before my Course, and sometimes now, I have allowed myself to dwell in an unhealthy relationship with myself - self-doubt, at times low self-confidence and self-esteem, at times negative and critical self-talk, certainly times wanting to change to be better or be more perfect.

And today I can Honour myself and say Well Done My Yin-Yang, Well Done Kath in Consciously choosing to bring these parts of myself together, to get to know myself and develop my Strengths - Well Done Kath, Well Done Me.

I can also be in Celebration for all my Achievements and Wins in the last 7 weeks.  I am in Celebration for all that I have accomplished in my Business through working with my Yin and Yang, relying on myself, bringing myself into my own power.  When I look at the Art Therapy painting from College from Sunday 11 April 2010, I am reminded that this was the Inspiration for my Business Logo.


By using the Strengths of my Yin part of me and my Yang part of me I was able to bring a Business Card and Flyer to life.  My Yin and Yang have also been essential in helping me organise two spaces for my Coaching - at a Bookstore and a Physiotherapist Clinic.  My Yin has loved more time in Nature, more time doing Art and listening to music that speaks to my Soul.  And my Yang has been so powerful and wonderful in getting organised with Client Forms and emails and preparation for the material for my meeting with the Doctor today.  While my Yang had all the material today, and was so in full support of his beloved Yin, it was wonderful that my Yin part of me was so present today, where I was able to show my Passion and my love of helping people.  And in the Process of Evaluation of my Yin-Yang Project I realise that I have become Self-Reliant and I have gained more Strength and Self-Confidence.

The GREATEST GIFT is that I am in a place of Self-Love.  I can now say to myself, the words I have longed to hear - YOU ARE wonderful and amazing and FANTASTIC!  I see you.  I see the Greatness in you.

I love these Love Duets - they make my heart sing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MG4TL3ZktyQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6Dg1Ymji-Q

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iv1zsxa-qb0&feature=fvsr

Tonight I receive an email from the Manager at the Bookstore - her favourite quote which is also one of my favourites:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson

I love these words.  My wish is that through my Shine Coaching business I can help people Shine - I can help people "manifest the glory of God that is within" them.  I am so happy that I am in touch with my life purpose to Spread The Yellow.   

Tonight I watch 'Garden State', a story about life, a love story, and I love these two quotes, they speak to me tonight - "Let's just allow ourselves to be whatever it is that we are" and "This is beginning of something really big" - this is how I am feeling tonight, as I Honour myself and Honour my Journey.  YES - THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF SOMETHING REALLY BIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Friday, May 28, 2010

Navel Gazing in the Month of May


I have noticed more and more that my mental activity is coming to resemble that of a classic absent-minded professor, except that I am neither absent-minded nor a professor. What I am is nearly completely disinterested in some things that in the past I at least gave some corner of my attention to. This happened once before when I was finishing my doctoral dissertation. In order to complete my Ph.D. back in the fall of '99, for about six weeks, I limited my non-writing activities to food, water, sleep, walks in the park and my cats.

Here a decade further on, writing again is the catalyst for my narrowing view of what passes for the world and news about it. In addition, however, there is the simple reality that I am older and care a whole lot less about what in our society passes for popular culture. I scrolled through the titles of new movie releases available to me on cable the other night and discovering I recognized the titles of 2 out of 104 films. The Hurt Locker and Avatar.

About two months ago I set my new (and first) DVR to record shows I thought I would want to watch. Over that period I have captured and attempted to watch maybe twenty or so different titles. Today, my venture into the world of DVR has been reduced to recording The Daily Show and Namaste Yoga.

OK, maybe I am inexorably becoming an old, ornery hermit. But the pleasure of focusing in depth on a topic and not having the effluvium of the world to distract you is compelling, even a bit addictive. Certainly nearly any endeavor which implies isolation or perceived anti-social behavior should be inspected periodically. I do have good friends here in the Bay Area and I was just in Las Vegas with some of my poker buddies and no he doeth not protest too mucheth. On the other hand, becoming a caricature of an archetype does seem fairly trivial.

Maybe a bit more Flamingoing around is in order.

Building Bridges

Decision making - I thought I had it sorted now - I thought I was getting in tune with my Intuitive Yin and then getting my Action Yang part of me to make it happen.  I had been so sure that the right decision for me was to move away from a permanent room booking for my Coaching Business and just rent rooms at times suitable to my Clients.  I was sure.  Or so I thought.

This morning I went to the Bookstore to pick up my Yellow coffee table that I keep at the Bookstore and it was wonderful at this time of the morning.  I love books and there were books everywhere as the Manager was setting up the store.  I went upstairs to collect my table and I felt a sense of magic and mystery and energy.  When I looked into the room, where I had been setting up every Friday, I sensed stillness and peace and there was natural light coming through the corner window.  I felt like I was saying goodbye to a friend when I shut the door.  I said Goodbye to the Manager, and I had a sense that I didn't want to shut the door. 

As soon as I got to my car I had a sense, a strong feeling, that I had made the wrong decision.  It was wonderful that I now had access to space at a local Physiotherapy Clinic, which increases my flexibility in terms of times I can offer to my Clients, and yet was I closing a door (and still trying to keep open a window at the Bookstore by saying that I would like to talk about other ideas and opportunities)?  I was confused.

As I am writing this I am getting a sense that my Yang may be coming on too strong.  I had abandoned the Yang Business Corporate part of me when I was made redundant - and for the past 7 weeks I have been trying to get reacquainted with my Yang, falling back in love with my Yang.  When I left my room last Friday I was very happy with the Bookstore and my room and yet over the weekend I went into the Shadow of Overthinking (on the Yang side) and then Overemotional and Global (on my Yin side).  It is my Shadows that are creating confusion.

Today when I got home from Cronulla I wanted to call back the Bookstore straight away, and I decided to just sit for 15 minutes in Meditation.  A similar image from Wednesday's Meditation came into my mind's eye - where there are two cliffs, going right down, and I am being held in the middle - held, no panic, I am being held in the hands of the Universe.  It is a comforting image - I do not have a fear of falling down into the depths - I feel safe.  In the Meditation today I have a sense of me Building Bridges - one for the Bookstore, one for the Physiotherapy, and just the need for me to keep Building Bridges around me and a sense of more people coming as I build more bridges.  WOW!!  This works for me.


I also remember my Connection with one of the Trees that I love at Gunnamatta Bay, and I remember when I had my hand on the heart of this beautiful Tree that the wind was so strong, and I was being encouraged to stay grounded and stay strong and not to let the wind blow me off course.

My Yin hears my Soul, my Yang ACTION part of me picks up the phone and I tell the Manager that I would still like to pay for space on a Friday.  The Manager is lovely on the phone and she says that I can have the weekend to think about it.  I am happy to make the decision now and I realise that I have to show Commitment and stay grounded in this space.  I was led to the Bookstore by my Intuition and then my Shadows surfaced and led me away, only for a brief moment.

When I am on the phone to my Mum, my Justifier Shadow is in full force, explaining, reinforcing, justifying my decision - my Mum picks this up straight away, and then I justify my justifying and we have a laugh!!!  I then realise the strengths of the Overthinker and Justifier where I am able to listen to their voices of concern and make some changes that would make me feel comfortable.

I have another chat with the Manager from the Bookstore and she is helpful with ideas to help grow my Business.  I offer that I may be able to leave some of my gear down at the Bookstore which would be easier than carting everything back and forth and she is happy with that idea.  I also mention that I will come to the Bookstore when I have a Client and use the other time working on my Business.  It was a great conversation and she offers to include me in the Newsletter this month and once again offers ideas.

I enjoy some Art Therapy and I enjoy feeling into the sense of being held between the cliffs and enjoy the imagery of me Building Bridges.  I feel that the Bridges are just new and yet they are weak and with time they will become stronger.  I also have a sense that from these Bridges will come life and growth -  I love this feeling of a tree growing and new leaves and branches - and this all happening from me Building Bridges. 


I enjoy my second drawing.  I wish I could draw or paint and yet I always have fun with my Art Therapy.  As I am beginning my second drawing, the following words come to me -"Wherever I AM I CAN BRING LIGHT" - I love these words. 


In my second drawing, there is less emphasis on the space where I work, less attachment to rooms.  I have a sense that I can work at rooms in the Bookstore, at the Physiotherapy Clinic, outdoors in Nature in the park, by the ocean, in any room - and "Wherever I AM I CAN BRING LIGHT".  I have the sense that the most powerful dynamic is the Coaching Relationship and I just need the space to bring this alive.  In this picture the rooms and space opportunities and possibilities are in the centre and yet there is more emphasis now on the magic and mystery on the outside and for me to be out in Community to Spread The Yellow and keep Building Bridges.

When I was just in moments of silence, not thinking, I had an insight that this was never a choice between the Bookstore permanent room or the flexible room at the Physio Clinic - instead I can be in Celebration that I now have more space available to build my Business.

I practice Coaching on myself and I practice Visualisations.  I Visualise my Business in September where my Goal is to be working with 5-7 Coaching Clients per week - in my Visualisation I see myself in the room in the Bookstore and I feel Excited that I am working with Clients.  Another time, I close my eyes and I am guided to Helicopter up and look at this from a new view, I feel happy in this space.

While I am a Coach and I am trained to facilitate Coaching with others - this experience shows me that I am only human, and that I am on my own Journey.  I feel that I am still getting to know all parts of myself, getting to know the main parts of myself being Yin and Yang, and that I need to continue to be a Witness to myself and look out for those parts in my Shadows and welcome them back into the light.  I also have to face my fears - rather than running away, I need to stand strong and stay grounded.  I feel that there is a lesson and perhaps something deeper going on for me here - and I enjoy talking with my Mum today about what I was like as a teenager, about myself now, and in terms of similarities to my Mum.  I love 'Soulcraft' and there are so many wonderful words - I love this paragraph -
"...opening to your sacred wound allows you to genuinely fall in love with yourself.  You come to see yourself so deeply you form an intimate relationship with the person you most truly are.  What's more, you recover a treasure to carry into life, and thereby contribute to the redemption of the world - your family, community, and species." 

Today I am Inspired to connect with an image of my Goddess - an image that feels right and that I can recapture in my mind's eye.  I search Google images and then I find a beautiful art gallery of beautiful Goddess artwork http://www.josephinewall.co.uk/goddesses.html

There are so many beautiful images and then I find the one that resonates with me - this is my Goddess.


I love this image - this beautiful Goddess - being in the moment - in Communion with Nature, Light and Glowing.  This Goddess is within me, and I can choose to bring her to life.

I feel Inspired today and I am happy - it helps that my Mum is in good spirits and we enjoyed a really great phone conversation chatting together.  My Mum tells me I just need to be true to myself, that we are all different and that I just have to be myself.  My Mum also tells me to enjoy every day, enjoy every moment.  I wish my Mum had the Internet at home - my Mum has always said that I am a great writer (my Mum loves me), and I know my Mum would love reading my Blog. 

I am also happy that we now have hot water and I enjoyed a hot bath tonight (ENJOYED!!) - and now I am happy to be at home with my Man and watching a love story that I love.  I am Grateful for the Gifts of today.


Thursday, May 27, 2010

Every Day Is Precious

We are still out of hot water - I have been wishing I could enjoy a hot bath when the taps were broken, and now I am so looking forward to the luxury of a hot shower in our home.  Thankfully, we are going to my Man's Mum's home every morning, and I am very Grateful to have a hot shower.

The benefit of not having hot water is that it means I have to get out of bed a lot earlier - so I have much more time in the morning.  I talk to my Mum and my Mum tells me that if anything happens to her, that if it is sudden, that she doesn't want me to be sad - to just look after my Dad and my Brother and have a happy life with my Man.  I fight back the tears and tell my Mum that this is just another small hurdle to get over, that she is too young - that I want her to see my children.  My Mum says that if anything happens to her that she will be looking down from heaven at me and my children.  I get off the phone and I cry.

It is one of my close friend's birthdays today and I am so happy that we are able to enjoy an extra long phone Conversation - just to catch up and chat and enjoy Connection.  I love that we can talk so openly, we have a true and real friendship.  I was telling my friend that I was using the Law Of Attraction, with images of my Mum and my children.  My friend offers a helpful, meaningful suggestion, offering me the idea that this is good for me, if I find it helpful, and that I can just allow my Mum to feel whatever she wants to feel and support my Mum as best as she chooses.  I have been studying Counselling and Coaching and I "should" know all of this - just holding space, being with what is - and yet this is my Mum - I want us all to do all we can.  And yet, I just have to trust my Mum and allow and accept.  And for now I can enjoy every day I have with my Mum, every phone call, every visit, everything about my Mum that I love.  

My Mum wants me to continue with my life and live my life.  Even yesterday, I was feeling sad and fragile, after a worrying and dark night, and yet I know that I have a choice - I choose life, and I am Inspired by my Mum's Strength.  I will never forget when my Mum once said to me the following words - 
"You can kick and scream and say 'Why me?', and yet that won't make a difference, so you just have to do it."

And so today I go out into the world and continue to take steps towards my Goals.  I have been working at bringing my Yin and Yang into their maturity, a strong love affair - where I am able to  use my own Strengths and Resources, my Left and Right Side of the Brain, the two parts of me.  With my Yin and Yang in union, I am able to rely on myself to take powerful action towards my dreams.

After getting in touch with my Intuitive and Emotional Yin part of me over the weekend, I made a decision yesterday that I would let go of my permanent room booking.  My Logical, Analytical and Ordered Yang has been working hard for me - writing a list of what I do want for my Coaching space and what is important to me - and taking action by writing emails where there may be rooms available.  I am very Grateful when I go to the Physio this morning and it is agreed with the two owners that I can work for space at their Clinic, that I only have to pay when I book a Client and that there is flexibility in terms of days.  I love the Physio, as it is dynamic and energetic and I feel an aliveness - I bounce in and I feel myself. 

I was worried about advising the Bookstore that I would no longer be booking a permanent room on a Friday.  I thought about putting it off until tomorrow, and yet I knew that I had to go today - as Honesty is one of my Values, a guiding principle in my life.  Every Day Is Precious and I have a sense that I need to have this Conversation today, rather than bring this energy into tomorrow.  As I was walking towards the Bookstore, I realised that I was in a Emotional Yin space and then my Intuitive Yin realised that I needed to call on Yang - to take the time to sit and have a cup of tea, and write some points for my Conversation - so that my words would be Logical and Ordered as well as Passionate and Emotional - Head and Heart.  I have a sense of my Goddess in Power and definitely an image of my Richard Gere Businessman - drawing on these images to give me Strength and overcome my fear.  


I sit in the coffee shop and write some points that are important for me to communicate.  I write out the points and as I am a Visual person I draw an image of each point to help me remember to say everything that is important to me - this is helpful - drawing on Imagination of Yin and Order of Yang.  I meet with the Manager and tell her of my decision, also thanking her and letting her know that she has been very lovely and supportive.  I am honest and explain that I am looking for more flexibility where I can just book rooms by the hour for each Client and offer more flexibility in terms of different days and times.  I explain that I am looking for a room that offers more natural lighting.  I offer that I do not want to close the door as I believe there may be other opportunities, particularly for Group Coaching.  I also tell her about my Mum - I tell her that this is not the reason, as I will continue to focus on my Business, and yet it will be important to have more space available in my life.

Tonight I am feeling a sense of relief that I do not have a room booked on a certain day every week, where I had a feeling that I was just setting up my room and sitting there waiting for Clients - now I can be more active in promoting my Coaching Business, allowing Space for my Mum, and Space for Spontaneity (I say this to my friend today and she loves this 'Space for Spontaneity' - my friend encourages me to run a Workshop on this topic).

I feel happy that with Self-Confidence I ring a Prospective Client, and email my Client Form.  I feel my Yin and Yang are working together - I am following the Intuition of Yin and yet Yang is becoming a powerful force in terms of Strength and Confidence and using my Business Skills and taking ACTION.

I am also happy that I was talking to the Owner of a local cafe today, and with Confidence and Convinction I asked if I could run a Promotion.  We had a quick Brainstorm and she is more than happy for me to put together a draft of the idea and if she gains approval from Head of the Franchise, then she will happily give out the Competition Entry with every coffee.  I am Excited!  This idea was not part of a Marketing Plan - I loved that the idea just came to me and I seized the moment and asked about the possibility.  I love my Yin and Yang - by being Consciously Aware of these two parts of me, I am able to bring out the best in me in bringing my dreams to life.   

While I was in the coffee shop, there were a precious few minutes where I was Witness to a beautiful interaction of a down syndrome young woman and another young woman who has a mental and physical disability.  Their carer was in line waiting for a beverage and I was just watching the friendship and joy and laughter and love between these two young women, where the down syndrome young woman was hugging the other woman in the wheelchair and they were laughing and having what appeared to be a great time.  And then seeing the interaction of the carer with these two young women, she was also amazing.  Wow, Life Is Precious!  Every Day Is Precious.

Every day with my Mum is Precious.  When I write these words, I have a sense of a stillness, definitely a sadness, definitely an Awareness that I do not know what the future holds.

And I am Committed to being True and Authentic and making the best of every day.  I am Grateful for my every day.  I am going to try my very best to not worry about the future or worry about what might happen -  this worrying takes my energy away from the Joy of life right now, the potential for Joy.  Every Day Is Precious, and I am going to be present and treasure every beautiful moment, especially every moment with my Mum.  We do not know what the future holds or what is around the corner - and yet we have NOW, right NOW, right NOW today, right NOW in this moment. 

My Man must have read my thoughts... he just came over and gave me a big kiss... 



Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Philosopical Pheedback


Earlier this month I asked you this question:

"Indicate some of the fundamental beliefs, concepts, philosophy of life or articles of faith which help carry you along, tide you over rough spots or guide you in the every day conduct of your life."


Today I want to give you a synopsis of the responses I received and perhaps add a few thoughts of my own. I deleted all names and email references from the emails and comments and then scrambled them. I didn't want any hint of: "Bob said that" or "Barry is a joker" to taint my reactions to your submissions. Here are some hi-lights with commentary.

I read your blog but have never communicated with you, we don't know each other in real life; your view on things makes me calmer about my life. You make me more thoughtful and more hopeful, even when you drift into what I assume was some earlier period of cynicism in your life. I think it is because you don't despair and you say things are basically right with the world. I need to hear that, which leads to my axiom: "Look for the good and listen for it too." I guess I should add: "and read for it too." Thanks.


I was a bit shocked by that response, but upon reflection -- calm is something I do. Oh, and thanks for the compliments, it fuels the blog fires. On the other side of the chasm, there were several offerings that contemplated the end:

Life Sucks and then you die.. I am really looking forward to that last part.


Life is just to die. Lou Reed


He not busy being born is busy dying. Bob Dylan


For death, I believe we are in a circle of life -- in a sense this is one life -- you don't go forward until you've learned the lessons you need to in this life.


There was also recognition that answers and paths are often elusive:

What does around comes around, so do the right thing; of course, figuring that out at times can be a challenge.


Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what is still possible for you to do. John XXIII


Lately it occurs to me, what a long strange trip its been. Grateful Dead


Surrender to the flow but don't be confuse it with the inevitable flush.


There was a lot of hope put in ourselves.

At the end of the day you go home with yourself, you need to be good with yourself and your actions.


To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children... to leave the world a better place... to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. Ralph Waldo Emerson


In dwelling, live close to the ground. In thinking, keep to the simple. In conflict, be fair and generous. In governing, don't try to control. In work, do what you enjoy. In family life, be completely present. Tao Te Ching

I really like that quote from the Tao, even though I cannot bear personal witness to any of those precepts. I are a poor Taoist. However, there were several submissions that mirrored my feelings about life.

I no longer follow a religion, instead I try to live by a quote from my favorite movie: "Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop to look around once in a while, you could miss it." Ferris Bueller


John Lennon offered a similar observation: "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."

My favorite such comment, often found on lapel buttons: Enjoy life, this is not a dress rehearsal.


A buddhist view of life was offered from Thich Nhat Hanh: We are here to awaken from our illusion of separateness. 


My favorite quote in that area comes from William James: Our normal waking consciousness is but one special type of consciousness, whilst all around it, parted from it by the filmiest of screens, there life potential forms of consciousness entirely different. We may go through life without suspecting their existence, but apply the requisite stimulus, and at a touch they are there in all their completeness.  


"To give freely of oneself and serve others" was offered by one reader. I like to have friends with knowledge and talents I do not have. I often say: Don't bother to learn that, I already know it; learn more about what you know that I don't. You don't have to be all that you can be, you can have friends to round out your philosophy, which is why I asked in the first place.

Finally, one of my favorite views on life, I have heard uttered by it's creator. The quote was submitted by two of you, so we jointly offer it was a motto for getting along in this life.

"Don't be a dick." Wil Wheaton

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